The setting: COP28. Delegates in suits carrying briefcases rushing to and fro across the stage. Stage left, a chorus of Pacific Islanders repeating a chorus: “the water’s getting higher. And higher. And higher.”
Enter, stage right. Dani and her entourage. “We gotta stop them. We gotta stop them. Or else we’ll freeze in the dark. We’re gonna stop them. We’re gonna stop them. I’m gonna make my mark.”
Enter, stage left. Guibi and his entourage. “Today is the day. The day we’ve worked for. The beginning of the end of the tarsands. Today I’ll unveil my plans.” [Note: It’s hard to find a rhyme for tarsands. Must work on this].
***
Sure, most musicals have happy endings and this one is going to be a tragedy. But hear me out. The climax will have the rival-gang energy of West Side Story. The character of COP President Dr Sultan al-Jaber will be as beloved as King George III in Hamilton. It’s set against the backdrop of climate catastrophe, so it’ll have that topical-hip vibe Rent had when it first came out. And with more Canadian content than Come From Away, there must be a Canada Council grant available for staging it.
I can’t wait to see this on Broadway!
So, who's the comic relief? I thought maybe W. Brett Wilson, but...nah.
Rhyme for tarsands
Grift bands
Con bands
Save indigenous lands